I used to be a bus driver before I retired and so for me it can be quite daunting when I get on a bus now.  Have you ever been on a bus where the driver gets to a bus stop and then spends what seems like an eternity doing paperwork, opening and closing the doors or generally wasting his passenger’s precious time?  When, as a bus driver, I found myself with that sort of time on my hands, I used to stop the bus, get out of the cab and say this to my passengers? 

 I would start by telling them how early we were, then do the maths and let them know how long we would have to wait for.  I would explain that they could get another bus from the stop if they are in a real hurry and then ask anyone if they would like to get off.  Then I would ask how my passengers would like to fill the time in.  At this point I have found the odd passenger who had been brave enough to tell a short story or sing a song.  I remember one occasion when a Czech lady decided to teach everyone a Czech hymn which was entertaining, but I had to cut her short because we would have been late if I hadn’t.  Usually I would not get such an offer so I would tell my bus riding clients the story that I am going to tell you now…

You have to imagine that it is Sunday; buses only come every half an hour, you live two minutes away from a bus stop and your car is in the garage.  Now add the fact that it is a cold, snowy, wet day and you have to be on the ten o’clock bus.  I would then ask what time you would leave to ensure you catch the bus and most passengers would suggest 09:55. 

So it is now 09:57 and there you are, in the cold with your fingers starting to freeze over, but the bus will be there at 10:00! This thought keeps you going, but then 10:00 arrives and the bus doesn’t.  Who are you blaming…. Me, the bus driver! 

But you hold on for a while and 10:05 comes.  You are really cold and your feet are freezing over by now.  As you are stamping your feet in an effort to keep them warm, you hang on to the fact that the bus will be along in a minute.  It is all very inconvenient really.   Who are you blaming…. Me, the bus driver! 

10:15; now you think that you will have to wait till 10:30. With all that time available you think;  you could spend two minutes going home, ten making a quick cup of something to warm you up and still have 5 minutes to get back in time for the 10:30 bus, but you know what will happen if you try that.  You’ll need some entertainment and turn on the telly.  If you are a lady it will be the Corrie omnibus, or it will be a football match if you are a gentleman; whatever it is you just know that you will get involved and when you check the time there will not be time to get back to the stop.  Or even worse; you will take ten steps away from the stop and then look back to see three busses which will not stop (no matter how franticly you wave at them),  because you are not actually at the stop.  So you hang in there, really and truly cold but then 10:30 comes and the bus has still not arrived! Who are you blaming…. Me, the bus driver!

The 10:30 bus got caught up in traffic and is genuinely late but who are you blaming…. Me, the bus driver!   It finally arrives at, let’s say, 10:45.  So you have been waiting for 45 minutes in the cold for a bus that you expected to arrive at 10:00.  Who are you blaming…. Me, the bus driver. 

I would then end my little story by saying this…. “But this is all supposition.  Isn’t it better that you have been sitting on this nice warm bus for the last 10 minutes listening to me and my story, instead of having to wait 45 minutes at that cold bus stop?”

Maureen B