1. You remember where your office is, but not exactly what you do there.

2. It’s less embarrassing to carry your dog’s pooper-scooper than your briefcase.

3. You’ve been drinking the office coffee so long you think it actually tastes good.

4. Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spread sheet.

5. A “nice little fling at the office” means you hit the wastebasket with a wad of paper.

6. The office stock boy is younger than your grandkids.

7. You can’t remember when it was that they offered you an early retirement package, but you’re pretty sure Reagan was president then.

8. When the guys ask you if you’re “getting any,” you think it means sleep.

- Greg Tamblyn