It is crazy easy to buy a birthday cake. Even if it is no one's birthday. They don't even check.
- Minor Irritation ‏@brettminor

Gave my co-worker the Heimlich manoeuvre. Proving once again I'm no good at birthday gifts.
- Jamie Tighe ‏@thejamietighe

I’ve been asked to pose for Penthouse on my 100th birthday. Everybody is going to be sorry.
- Dolly Parton

Middle age is when you're faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o'clock.
- Ronald Reagan