Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
- Bennet Cerf

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
- Ogden Nash

When you hit middle age, getting to second base is mainly just feeling each other for lumps.
-Anonymous

Happy Birthday! You’re now living proof of the old saying that “Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.”
- Kin Hubbard