I discovered your web site recently and found myself looking at all the news articles that have been written to date.  I have to congratulate you on the variety of subjects that you have covered so far.

I found the news item that was posted on January 30^th quite amusing but while I laughed, it reminded me of a surprise that my beloved children once arranged for me. 

I am in my late 70s, have lived alone for a while and although I attend day centres and have lots of friends.  I am also very lucky because I have a really close relationship with my children who both live locally and visit me regularly.  

About eight years ago my children arranged for me to visit my sister who lives in Birmingham.  It is not that far but I often mentioned to them that the thought of taking a train and travelling alone left us paying the telephone company quite a lot to keep us in communication with each other.   My son drove me down and also arranged a return journey to pick me up two weeks later.  I was able to chat with my children regularly.  I genuinely had a great time.  For me the visit forced me to have a good rest as it was an excuse to avoid doing so many things that I would have done were I at home, and I think that my sister, who lives alone like me, enjoyed having someone to cook with and share her meals, days, outings, a good chin-wag and the TV with.  We liked to watch similar programs and our absolute favourite was ’60 minute makeover’.

At the end of the fortnight my son came to collect me but when I got home I have to admit that my home had all but disappeared.  They had spent the two weeks completely redecorating my home and I truly had the same sort of look on my face as the people who are surprized on the show.

It was not long however before I hit upon the downside of being the subject of such a transformation.  Nothing was where I left it and it took me so much time to settle into my routine for the first few weeks.   To make things worse they thought that they knew what I needed to keep and what I didn’t and had acted accordingly; the result being that some of my cherished and intrinsic items had been discarded forever. 

I know they thought they were doing the very best for me and they really did put themselves out , but I have to make a plea to all children.   As we parents and grandparents get older we get slower but most of us know what we want to keep, and it is often that the things with the memories are not always the ones that they think they are. 

60-minute makeover is all good on TV, but the reality can be a little heart breaking.  I remember an article in the paper version of the Gazette where a man, who was about to move from his house to sheltered accommodation, wrote about the importance of sorting things out and how upsetting he found downsizing his possessions. 

Anyway, my final message is to those young pensioners who also find that they are children of older ones is:  and the message is - If you are planning to organise a sort-out for your parents please make sure that you do it WITH them and not FOR them.    I know that it will spoil the surprise but make sure that they are there to tell you what they want to keep.  You never know, they may just tell you to get on with it but please make sure of their wishes.      

JF, St. Johns

LPG found some related information and entertainment

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