Dear LPG,

Here is a thought, how do you prefer your true friends to treat you? 

Not so long ago my father spent a few weeks in hospital and he was not always awake enough for a conversation when my sister and I went to visit, although his neighbours were all not as ill, often very much awake, all visitor-less and often looking quite bored.  There were 3 other older gentlemen in his ward and because of our regular visits we got into regular discussions.  One day we all got talking about television programs, like the Jeremy Kyle show where there is so often a family discussing issues cause because of infidelity.    

It was a light-hearted talk, and the findings were very general with we women suspecting that the men were sticking to their first decision, and forming an alliance, just to keep the fun aspect of the talk going, but we got hypothetical and the scenario we came up with was that of the friend of a person who, over the years, had also become friends with their partner, but who knew his (or her) friend’s partner was being unfaithful.  Then one of them asked me what we would do if we were the friend in question.

 We sisters, both pensioners, but the only ladies in the room, agreed that we would both have reacted in the same way.  First we both agreed that we would each have a chat with that friend’s partner and explain that we knew what was going on, and we would then warn the partner that if it did not stop we would let the cat out of the bag so to speak. 

All three men disagreed and told us that if it were the male partner who was being unfaithful they would do nothing, but if it were the lady they would tell straight away.

We ladies felt that if the partner, male or female, was of previous good character telling straight away and risking a marriage and the happiness of both people would not be the first course of action, but we could not believe the gender-based double standards of the men in the room.

The discussion engaged all the people in the hospital ward and we asked the nurses questions too as they entered the ward to do their work. It was interesting that the nurses tended to agree with the other answers given consistently depending on their gender.  

The hospital staff ended up thanking us for engaging the patients for so long and welcomed the discussion, but we are interested in what readers think and how they would have answered the question.

Seriously, what do you, the LPG readers think?

NJ, Lewisham

LPG, Google again and found that there is internet advice on the subject, although for some reason the world wide web seems to think that it only happens when you are young.  It was also interesting that the majority of the internet advice is geared towards women.

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