Dear LPG,

I recently was asked if, now that I am older,  I had succeeded in becoming the person that I really wanted to be when I was a young man.

When I thought about it, I realised that I was one of those pensioners who spent lots of time keeping hospital outpatient appointments and talking a lot on the phone to my friends, and I think that those pursuits are really important to my life.  But I found that the little chinks in my health-armour were getting me down and a degree of depression was setting in.  I was surprised how long it took me to actually notice what was happening, although some of my friends had mentioned to me that I was not as bright and positive as usual. 

I often would find myself involved in one of my many deep-thinking sessions where I drift from an activity as simple as drinking a cup of tea or watching the TV into thinking about things that get me down and waste hours of my time.  I don’t think that I am the only person who lives alone and sometimes gets so lost in really negative thoughts, where everything I think translates with words and phrases like not; never; don’t; have not or will not.  It occurred to me that so many of my friends were telling me about the way I was changing and they can’t all be wrong. 

So I started to research how I could improve my negativity and found that there are some positive things that we can all try, which can only improve any bad thoughts which it is now obvious to me result in a more negative version of ourselves. 

I have found that one of the best ways to not think negatively is make sure that you do not have the time to do so.    One answer can be a really short term goal for each day; something that I can achieve relatively easily and where I can see all the positive feats that I have achieved.  At the end of each day I make a point of entering these achievements into my diary, and if I feel a negative thinking-session coming on, a review of all that I have achieved recently really helps.

I try to centre my thoughts on what I do have rather than what I don’t, and if there is something that I want to have or achieve I work out the stages that I will have to go through to get it.  For instance, I have always wanted to be able to play an instrument, but never had the time when I was younger.  I have finally started lessons which are a challenge but help me to keep my mind occupied.  My goal is to be able to play a little something for my family by the end of next year.  

The practice involved has resulted in my not having the time to be, or think negative; something that my friend’s comments are beginning to hint at.

WS, Greenwich

As ever LPG has found some online information on this subject

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