Dear LPG,

I am a grandma and I am wondering how many other grandmas can identify with my experience…

How many times had you observed when talking to a friend that your children don’t visit as often as they used to?

When we first had them they were completely dependent on us.  We could hardly turn around without hearing “Mum?”

Then there were the times when we made sure they were safe and they knew we would always be there to provide dinner and take them to the doctor when they were sick.

Then there was the first day we took them to school and we stopped being the most important person in their lives, but still worried as we anticipated when the school would ring and what would be wrong.

Then they got older and naughtier and many of us mums went back to work.

There were the parent’s evenings, homework, school plays and holidays but, however much time there was, there was never enough time to spend with them.

Then there was the first time they went on school journey or holiday without us.

Then they took their exams and went off to college and university – and their homework got so hard for us that we could not help them anymore.

Then – there were the nights that we waited up – and worried about that potential boyfriend or girlfriend that we were not too keen on.  Secretly, or often quite openly, we thought that they could have done better.

Then there were the days when our shoulder came in handy – for them to cry on

Then there was the day when we became either the mother of the bride or groom and we suddenly realised that their days of dependency on us were really gone.

Then there were the days when they turned up with the odd question for you – or to borrow money.

Then there was the day that we became  ‘grandmother’.

Then there was the baby-sitting mixed in with the feeling of ‘Deja vu’ as we watched the whole saga play out all over again from a more distant perspective.

And then there is the day when we realise that we need them a bit more and they need us a lot less! 

 It takes the best part of a lifetime but it all happened so quickly.       

EY, Brockley