Dear LPG,

My intention is not to depress readers with my message but I feel that it needs to be said, and add that I am offering my personal opinion.

I am about to become a pensioner technically in fact I am the first of my siblings to get to this point in life, and though the others are not far behind me in age, it is our role as our father’s children that I would like to talk about on this occasion.

My father is a little further along the path of life and spends such a lot of time talking about and making a point of saving his money.  It is something that he talks to us about so much of the time and his actions make us kids a little sad.  We children have tried to encourage him to have a holiday, extend his wardrobe, buy a better bed and bigger Telly and generally enjoy his money, but his answer to that is that he needs to save it so that he will have something substantial to leave for us when the inevitable happens.

So parents of all ages, I would like to pass a message on to you.

Please enjoy whatever savings you have as you get older, and before you are unable to; spend your evenings out, travel and enjoy new outfits of clothes.  It is important that we save a little but life changes so quickly that we often forget that early retirement is arguably the best part of life.  The kids are doing their own thing and work is not stealing all your time.

Leaning on my own experiences in this field, I believe that every parent’s job is to be there for their young ones, teach them the values that they were taught when they were young, socialise and play games with their children, make sure they are armed with the education needed to get through their later lives, be prepared to stand back and let them go when the time comes and be their ‘shoulder to cry on’ as they experience their own versions of adulthood’s ups and downs.  Then when their young adults decide that they want to leave the family home, parents have to learn to stand back while they watch the progress of their offspring.  When that time comes our parents do so with the same mixture of uncertainty and confidence that is needed to watch them take their first steps as a toddler. I believe that at this point their legacy to their children is fulfilled.

They do not need to deny themselves anything in retirement in order to reserve all their extra savings for their children.  I keep reminding my father that all his children are financially self-sufficient because of the start that he and our mother gave us.  In fact their gift was and is a lot more than financial.

It is also the case that I have seen a lot of friends my age watch their parents suffer unexpected changes in their lives, such as a sudden debilitating accident or the onset of dementia which leaves them in a position where the government dictates that money they have saved has to be is spent on their care even though people who don’t have the funds are cared for in the same way.

I have to conclude that it is a financial balancing act, but saving will not ensure that your children will benefit and, if parenthood comes with a debt, by the time a parent gets to their later retirement years it has usually been well paid and any outstanding duties is a lot more than purely financial.

CY, Forest Hill