An pensioner walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. "You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 66 years old." The bartender apologised, but said he had to see some ID. The old guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. "The tip's for checking me," he said. The bartender put the change in the tips cup. "Thanks," he said. "Works every time."