Dear LPG, 

I found this piece of writing in a news sheet that I was given when I used to visit a day centre about eight years ago.  I read it again on the internet and it made me laugh.  I hope that some new readers may appreciate it…

Oldies but Goodies

Old folks are worth a fortune: With silver in their hair, gold in their
teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet, and gas in their
stomachs. I have become a lot more social with the passing of the years;
some might even call me a frivolous old gal. I'm seeing five gentlemen every
day. As soon as I wake, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go see
John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here, he takes a lot of
my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the
rest of the day. (He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he
takes me from joint to joint.) After such a busy day, I'm really tired and
glad to go to bed - with Ben Gay. What a life!

P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said that at my age, I
should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him I do - all the time. No
matter where I am - in the parlour, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the
basement - I ask myself, "Now, what am I here after?"

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AA, Lee