Dear LPG,

I am speaking as a pensioner here but I want to emphasise one of the very real services that we slightly younger pensioners can provide for our slightly older relatives. 

I have an uncle who is now in a care home.  I have often heard it said that there is usually one family member that visits more regularly than the rest and, during the two years that my uncle has lived in this way, I have found that to be quite true.

In all fairness I am the relative that lives the closest to him and I am also a little older than his children and recently retired, which gives me more of an opportunity to be his main visitor.  There are so many pressures around these days that it is easy to leave longer gaps between making these appearances but I believe it is vital to make those regular visits, no matter how brief, even if the person you are visiting does not recognise you half the time.

Though such visits can become difficult for a variety of reasons, visiting keeps the care homes on their toes so to speak.   We have all heard the reports about mistreatment in care homes and, though the horror stories of recent years appear not to feature in the news so much these days, I think that we all need to keep a regular check on our relatives who live in this way. 

I make a point of varying the times and days that I visit so that I can see what goes on in a sort of ‘spot check’ fashion, and I have to say that there is an advantage in getting to know the staff who, in my estimation, will make sure that they have new information about your loved one to offer when you arrive simply because you are there more often.

My uncle does have a degree of dementia and in his case, and quite a few cases from what I have observed, my turning up, a bit like a bad penny, at least every three days has helped him to remember me and serves as a focus for him.  It is true that I don’t know how much longer that will be the case but I can be sure that he is receiving a good level of care because I am keeping a serious check on that.

RO, Downham

LPG has found some information on this subject…

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