Dear LPG

I think that it was quite early in my life that I developed one recurring inner-complaint and that is that there is never enough time to do all the things that I want to do. But now, in my retirement years, I recently left hospital after a very long illness.  There was a lengthy period where I was unaware of my surroundings but then, as I began to recover, there was a period where I could not move much or leave my hospital bed.  It was then that I suddenly found myself with time on my hands like never before; time that I managed to use to think about all the things that I regret and that I have done wrong.

I had weeks and weeks to focus and I don’t think that the focus of my thought was helping my recovery much either.  It was then that one of my visitors brought me my tablet and I was able to find some information about how to overcome these thoughts that were causing me so much heartache.

I have learned that I am not the only one, most people have made at least one major mistake that, if they have the time is likely to recreate feelings of serious guilt that they thought that they had put to bed a long time ago. 

Once I started browsing I found other questions that needed to be focussed on apart from how wrong you were at the time.   Questions such as; why did you make the decision to do what you did in the first place?  Was your perception of the intended consequence a positive one?     Having found yourself with the initial deed done, did you act in the best way you could at the time?   Is there anything that you can do now to lessen the severity of such a mistake?

I then needed to explore what would have happened if the mistake had not been made? Did you meet anyone as a result of the error?  What did you learn from your mistake?  Who did your mistake most affect and how?  What have they learned?  Did your mistake change your priorities for the better?  How can you help others learn from it?  

I worked out that I had already forgiven myself about it when I had not so much time to dwell on the mistake and remembered that if I could do that once, I could let go again.  The information that I read advised me to appreciate that I had to make the mistake to learn and, whatever it cost at the time, I have come through the other side. 

The advice reminds me that there are big mistakes and small ones.  The ones we think are big are not necessarily considered as of the same size by others and time heals. 

I suppose that I find it easier to forgive both myself and others because of my faith.  I am a Christian and while the bible says we should forgive others it also reminds us that God forgives us, so perhaps we need to focus on the future and remember that continued worrying will affect your health although what to think about instead is a different quandary altogether.

I hope that my findings can help other readers, in or out of hospital, who are experiencing any feelings of guilt find a few other angles to explore.  

OC, Lee

OC left LPG some of the information that spurred the writing of this news post.

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