Dear LPG

I want to start by saying that I am no expert, and can only speak from personal experience here, but this is something I really want to share with LPG readers and anyone who will listen.

Is there someone in your family who always has some news that they only feel that they can tell you?   I remember being told by my son that he and his wife were ‘pregnant’ and the news was followed with the warning that I should not tell anyone else until further notice.  I have to admit to being really excited which made having to keep that news to myself even harder, but I was worried to risk telling anyone because of the reprisals that could have been the result if I did and it got back to him. I worried about the lack of trustworthiness that I would be labelled with if the news got back to them that someone else knew.  I am so aware that silly things like that can be the cause of family rifts that get wider and wider.

Mine was positive news at least, although I was bursting to share it with someone and it made it harder because I felt it to be good family news that everyone should be privy to, but what of the not so good news.

What if it is your news and not good news?  Something negative to do with your health, or finances?  I think that the biggest mistake we make is that we make judgements about how others will perceive us if we tell them our bad news but , we need to realise that whatever our problem we can be sure that someone else has experienced it in the past.

My way of sharing my family news, was with a group of friends at a club that I attend and who know nothing of my family.  I told them and it was so good to have someone to share my joy while I waited for the rest of the family to be told officially; but even if the news is really embarrassing, bad or leaves the person you have told learning something about your attitude or character that you would rather have kept completely to yourself, there is value in telling someone.

I read that the English have a reputation for keeping their problems to themselves, which in my opinion, cannot be a good thing.  As we get older, and so many more of us find ourselves living alone, it can get so much easier to keep all sorts of secrets, personal dilemmas and problems to yourself, but at what cost?  I think that sharing problems when they start makes it easier to explain them if, as many do, they grow into more complicated issues later.

Bottling things up can only add to personal stress and depression and there is much too much of that around at the moment.  I don’t know who was the first to say it but, I wholeheartedly agree: -  a problem shared is truly a problem halved.

MW, New Cross.

As ever LPG found some information…

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