Dear LPG

I just want to offer a word of advice to those spouses who have left all the financial choices to their other halves over the years.  If you are like me that has been the way your relationship has worked ever since you said, ‘I do’ to (or got together with) your soul mate, but I cannot begin to describe how hard that makes continuing if something happens suddenly which makes it important for you to take over.

I always think that those who decided to join forces before the 1960s would end up in a position where the man in the team would make nearly all the bigger financial decisions because, when the children came along many of the mums stopped working and sorted the household bills, with the budget that they were allotted although I now realise that it often happened the other way round.

My other half recently suffered a health issue which was quite sudden and with the result that I am now the member of our duo who has been left to take over keeping our finances on track.  This is something that I have had to learn from scratch, while also having to deal with the stress of doing what little I can to help with the medical aspects of getting our family on track again and it has been a real headache.

So if you are the partner that leaves the other to sort all the finances in your marriage, even if you are quite happy to let your partner have soul control of family bank accounts and PIN numbers, be the one to make all the decisions and pay all the bills, please be warned and take an interest so that you at least know about what needs to be done financially just in case something sudden happens and you need to take over.  If, on the other hand, you are the partner who has always dealt with the money side of things it might be time to share, with you other half, some of the principles which have allowed your partnership to work on that level all these years. 

CF, Brockley Cross.