Dear LPG

I am writing this just before Christmas 2018, but I know that it takes a little time for the process to be complete and LPG to be able to post it, so it might well be a while before it appears on your website, if at all.

I think that I am a relatively lucky pensioner because I have quite a large network of friends and family, but in spite of all that, I don’t think that I know anyone who has not made a mistake, said or done something that they now regret and which has had such a negative effect on one person or some of the people that they know to the point that they are not speaking or harbour a lot of animosity towards each other. 

Based on that fact, I think I can be sure that at least some of the people reading this most probably regret an action and the rift that it has put between them and another person, even if you still think that you were in the right.  But as time goes by it becomes more difficult to remember all the details of such an argument accurately, and even more challenging to start to put it right. 

Time often allows us to analyse the reasons, whys and wherefores of whatever went wrong, and the actions that were the consequence, but we often choose to forget the effect that the resentment caused to both ourselves and the other person, or people involved because of our principles.

The thing that we often don’t take the time to analyse is how the destruction of the relationship between you and the people you have lost is affecting you and them. The hardest thing to do is to put yourself in the shoes of the other person, regardless of if time has shown you to be the person wronged, or the person who made the wrong decision.  It also has to be said that in so many cases there was no absolute wrong or right way to deal with the situation.

It is often said that Christmas is a time when there are most family breakups and arguments so perhaps, now that Christmas has passed for another year, it is time to put things right.

I don’t want to really put the details of something that I have to resolve down here, but I want to remind my fellow readers that as we get older we need all our family and friends around us, and urge any (and I bet most of) the LPG readers who see this message to think about it and do it.  Even if the other party appears not to accept your apology they will at least know how you feel and the end of the healing process will be a little nearer to becoming reality. 

JP, Downham