Dear LPG,

I want to talk about being a parent of pensionable age.  I believe that there are lots of advantages to having been a parent.  I have four of them, children I mean, and they have presented me with no less than eight grandchildren over the years.  I know that I am not unique in that respect.

The housing climate that we now live in has forced them to spread their wings geographically and only two live close enough to ‘pop over’ while  the other two are a couple of hours drive away.  While they will always be my babies I have to concede that they are not exactly children any more.  They are all well into middle age, married and are busy with their own lives but, I am lucky I suppose, because they have all done reasonably well for themselves and still live in the UK, which means that I get to spend quality time with them every now and then; especially when they want to borrow a few quid.

I know that many older parents enjoy lots of financial help from their children but, with every swing there is a roundabout to be considered.  I just know that I am not the only retired parent who is affected in this way.  They all arrive at different times with long detailed explanations about their latest financial predicament.  If yours are like mine there is always a projection outlining when and how I will get the money back even though they have not repaid the last loan.  I suppose we parents take pity on them, whatever their age, and continue to lend what we can, the only problem being that getting the money back is a lot harder than lending it.   I dedicated a lot of time to teaching them to be self-sufficient during their younger years, but they all think that now I am retired, I have a bottomless pit of the stuff. 

I have to say that I now understand what the bible was trying to say in Proverbs Chapter 22 verse 7 although I think that the lines between the rich and poor aspects of that rule have become a little blurred.  So I have come up with three rules which I would like to share with all the other retired mums and dads who are a bit soft to the touch…

1,   Before you lend any money to a child (or any other member of your family) be sure you know when and how they plan to pay it back and have that in writing.

2,   If you are going to lend them any money make sure it is money that won’t affect you if you never get it back.

3,  If you are lending more before an earlier debt has not been paid, think about the message that you are giving your children. 

Let’s face it they will get it all when you no longer need it…

LM, Brockley Cross

LPG found some more suggested rules online which are worth considering….

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