Dear LPG,

I wrote in once before and promised to send further short stories from a book that I wrote when I was working as a bus driver. I started my experiences with London buses working as a bus conductor on the 36 route and compiled a collection of stories which were told to me by the other drivers and conductors in the garage.  I know that there must be some retired bus operatives out there in LPG internet land, and so I would like to share another little story with you.  Most of the stories were signed with the badge number of the driver or conductor who experienced them.

 The tools of the trade

It has been a long time since I drove a bus and, I cannot even remember which bus this happened on, but I was rostered to do the same duty for a week, which started at the very early hour of 05:00 every day.  I can imagine those who have always worked from nine to five dreading the thought of being up and out so early, but an early start meant a relatively empty bus, with serious passengers on their way to work, and practically empty, trouble free roads.  There was also the advantage of an early finish on the day.

 One Monday one of the passengers, who was obviously a bricklayer judging from the bag of trowels and other bricklaying tools that he carried in his bag, got onto my bus, put his 70p on the cash tray and accepted the ticket that I gave him. This happened on the Tuesday and the Wednesday; but on that 3^rd morning he started to walk down the length of the bus, then turned and came back to the front after a few steps and a minutes’ thought. He looked at me quite seriously and asked me, “Don’t you ever smile at your passengers?”  I answered him by saying, “Do you smile at your bricks when you are laying them?” the passenger laughed.

(At the time of writing, this ex- bus driver had hung up his driving gloves and turned his hand to an administrative post in the garage such a long time before that he had forgotten what his badge number was)

JB, Lewisham,