Dear LPG,

Isn’t it funny how you suddenly become labelled as ‘old’ when you retire?  It almost feels as if it happens while you are not looking.  

I live alone but I am lucky enough to have children that visit often and I know that they worry about me and want the best for me.  I am well past an age where I can be called young or even middle aged now and I think that the one thing that I have noticed is that, as we get older (and I am sure that I am not the only pensioner who has noticed this), for some reason the younger people in our lives seem to think that they know best.   But I have decided that it is time that I stopped being told what I need to do.  I feel as if the choice is being taken away.

I am not talking about the very young here.  My grandchildren are all younger than ten years old and still at the inquisitive stage, but have you noticed that so many others think that they know what is best for you?   My children spend lots of time telling me what they think I should do, which I am beginning to resent a little even though I believe that they are really trying to help.  When I first retired a lot of what was said sounded like advice but it is gradually becoming more the voice of the directive.    

I think that hearing what they have to say is important, after all, you brought them up and the very basic ideals that you taught them usually stick, and I believe that they are honestly telling you what they believe is best for you, but you get enough of that from the professionals that tend to become a bigger part of your life as you find yourself visiting doctors and hospital specialists more often.

I am not saying that I know everything, and I feel that life is and always has been one big learning curve for me which I have relished, but remember that, whenever anyone tells us what to do, it is up to us and no one else to use our common sense to work out if we need to pursue the directive, gentle hint or advice; even if we requested it.

So I warn anyone who is being ordered more than advised these days to listen but reserve the right to make up your own mind about what you really want to do and how you really want to live.   If you are not careful the kids have a habit of taking over without even realising what they are doing!

TH, Bermondsey