Dear LPG

I find myself in a situation that many of my friends of a similar age find themselves in as well.  Our shared problem seems to be the result of one thing and one thing only.  I am talking about those of us who have had the privilege of being parents and grandparents, and those relatives that have, during their lives taken on the responsibility of bringing up children who, as is to be expected, have moved out to follow their own paths.

When they were young, we didn’t know what hit us, but we each learned how to cope with the little ones who continued to grow and diversify, just like their problems.  As parents, guardians and caretakers we managed to adapt as they evolved and finally left home… well at least your home, to make homes and lives for themselves, but they never really do that completely.

I would like to ask those pensioners, who still live in the home that they brought their children up in, just how much of those children’s stuff never left with them. 

I am not talking about the picture they drew at infant’s school which you had framed, or the christening robe that you just don’t want to part with because of the memories that it conjures up every time you come across it in the spare room cupboard.  I am talking about items like the car tyres or old motor bike that has been left in the back garden for years, the old sewing machine that arrived during a half term holiday from university and the out of date exercise bike that is going to be part of the home gym when that offspring makes enough space in their new home, and the teenaged wardrobe of clothes which will never be warn again, but occupies a lot of the space in the spare room closet.

On the occasions that your little ones (and I use that term advisedly) visit, you mention these little leftovers and even threaten to send them to the charity shop or rubbish tip while your visitors come and go away with the faithful promise that they will deal with moving it a bit at a time; but the items in question never vanish.

I have tried appealing to their better nature, dropping the plea into the conversation over dinner, not to mention straight threats of destruction, and the irony is that my children now have children who are leaving their homes and when I mention my problem with their things, they now  offer me stories of the problems they are having with their own children, my grandchildren’s belongings as they leave for college; and the worst part is that their stories always seem to start with, “Mum (or dad) , you think you have problems!”.

I know the problem but does anyone have the solution?

PB, Forest Hill

LPG found a little information which may resonate with both Grandparents and Parents…

(►►►)   (►►►)     (►►►)