Dear LPG,

The one thing that cannot be disputed is that as we get older we have more time.  I think that many of us find ways of using that time within months of not having to fill it with work which is a good thing.  I often talk to older people like myself who make that observation a few years after that last day at work, but for a few of us the void is harder to fill and over thinking becomes an occupation of sorts.

I think for many ex workers that that boring monotonous job that we did for so long, and that we could not wait to be rid of, is a lot more important than we think, because the people around us gave us something to measure our own success by.  Even though I did not do it consciously it was somehow comforting to know that, every now and then, a work colleague made a mistake that I know that I would never have.

Talking of my own experience, I think that because those people don’t exist for me anymore, I find myself needing to justify what I am good at and falling short which leaves me measuring myself against the me I used to be and still finding myself below standard.

I always thought these feelings would be something that people who live alone would experience and think about more, but they bother me too and, after just four years of retirement, I find that my wife seems to be much more comfortable with her post-working life than me.   We made a pact not to get under each other’s feet all day every day but, when we get together for our evening meal, she always seems to have done more with her day than me, and even though a lot of what she has to say would have seemed mundane when I had been working all day, I cannot help but be aware of how that table has turned now. I used to always have something to tell her about an achievement at work when I came home in the evenings but now there seems to be less and less to say. 

I had this conversation with a friend recently and he suggested that I may have developed an inferiority complex and recommended that I write my feelings down.  I never really write these days preferring to use one skill that I learned when working in an office which was typing, and while on a computer I googled inferiority complex and found some interesting information which, I would like to share just in case there are any others out there who feel like I do.  It is not the end of the world but I worry that such feelings could be a slippery slope to depression and that if it will get worse if I don’t do something about it.

So, having written my thoughts down (which I have to say did help a little) I would like to share what I have learned about myself, and from the internet but, having shared all this very personal stuff, I prefer to stay especially anonymous.

XX, Lewisham.

XX told us that he found lots of information although little of it was directly aimed at older people. However, he thought that the following links were worth a look…

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