Dear LPG,

I recently read TS’s thoughts which were posted on 31^st January 2020 and though I know that I may just be repeating what was said in that post, I believe that it cannot be said too many times.   In that article TS mentions that it is really easy to find yourself in the situation when you do go out and, for all the people you pass in the street and see around you, you can find yourself with no one to talk to.

I really just want to flip that feeling on its head and, remind us how lucky we are.  Let me ask about all the people you know that really cannot get out at all and who have little family or, at least, few family members who live close enough to make regular visits.  

I have one particular neighbour who lives alone and is now unable to leave her home.  She does have a son who has his own mobility problems, lives the other side of London and can only get to see her fortnightly.  She has a progression of carers who visit four times a day and I suppose she could move to be closer to her son, but she points out that this would take her away from the home she has lived in for over 20 years and that she does not want to leave.

I sometimes have nothing to say to her and find myself thinking about all the other things I could be doing when I visit her, but I know that she really values having someone to have a bit of a chat with or just having someone else show a degree of interest (even if all I can do is just sit with her in silence).  I know there are charities that specialise in befriending, but she tells me that there is something special about knowing that someone has made the time to visit.  She tells me that it gives her something to look forward to. 

While we are thinking of people like my friend as one of ‘them’, as opposed to one of ‘us’, we need to realise that circumstances can change really suddenly and we readers who are now more able, and independent, could find ourselves with the shoe on the other foot just like that. 

So while we are able to get on with our busy lives, I would like to, remind readers who feel a little like TS that if they can make the time for a short visit to a neighbour or friend who is housebound on the way home, it will benefit them two fold.  They will have someone to talk to, will give a little pleasure and added focus to the person that they are visiting, and you will be able to have a chat, albeit short-lived, which could give both of their lonely days a bit more focus.

It’s basic maths really; if you put two lonely people together, for a short while, neither of them are quite so lonely… 

PY, Penge