Dear LPG,

Isn’t it funny how different each of your children’s attitudes are towards you as you get older.

I am a fairly independent 83 now.  I had four children and I don’t remember treating any of them differently to the others at any time during their young lives, although as their personalities have developed, all that changes quite a bit. There are seven years between their ages and they are all in their mid-50s and 60s now.  They have all grown up and gone their separate ways.

One has made a career of personal training while another is an architect, one retired from office work a few years ago and the youngest has had varied jobs during his working life, while I am now on my own and can say that they all visit and go to a lot of trouble to check on me and how I am doing regularly.

I feel that they were all brought up with the same parenting rules (barring the changes that time dictated).  But they have all developed such differing outlooks on life, which is as it should be for the most part.

One of my sons, the personal trainer insists on phoning to see how I am every morning, but always seems to have a need to tell me what I need to be doing for my own good. I have to say that during the Covid-19 crisis, he was the one who made sure that I did some exercise and always turned up with the food that he decided was best for me (not that I necessarily liked all of his choices or his slightly overbearing manner).   Over the years he has become a bit of a dictator because he thinks he knows best and leaves me feeling that what I think and feel is not really as important as what he thinks is best for me.

I have a daughter, who is retired now and single and who takes the time to take me shopping and do the little practical things for me.  She will help when it comes to going out with me, and though I still drive to local destinations, she is the one who I would ask if I wanted to take a trip out to visit my friends and relatives who live further afield than I feel brave enough to drive myself to.

Then there is the architect who lives some ten miles away and whose wife keeps him really occupied although they visit at least once most weeks and bring me presents of magazines and sweets that I don’t need my ‘Personal Trainer’ to tell me that I should not eat.

The youngest one is a bit of an entrepreneur and is always busy with one venture or another. His visits are predominately about taking me out to dinner and little mini occasions, which is nice and often include the grandchildren that he has blessed me with.

All in all, I think that I am really lucky because I see much more of them than they see of each other and much more of them than many of my friends see of their children, even though I feel that they sometimes want to dictate what I should be doing, I have a very close relationship with each of them.

I think that life has just panned out this way for me, but I would like to encourage fellow readers to do their best not to lose touch with their children. We have all experienced lock-down this year and that experience has forced so many older people to learn about the importance of communication.  Now that shutting yourself away at home is coming to an end, don’t let keeping in touch with your family members come to an end too.

HG, Forest Hill