Dear LPG,

They often happen in films and to other people but, have you ever been in a situation where you have been proved right after the event even though no one believed you beforehand. Perhaps someone did something stupid that impacted on you or someone you cared about, and you offered a solution that no one would listen to, but that proved to be right with hindsight. At that point a ‘I told you so’ moment can be truly satisfying, but sometimes the reason for needing such proof might be a little more serious.

Imagine suspecting a professional who regularly comes into your home, but not being able to prove that they are ‘borrowing’ some of your property because your family cannot see what is happening. Imagine eventually being proved right and still not being acknowledged.

I want to tell a story with a moral today, and although you may think not, such a predicament could be more common place than you would think.

A relative of mine died recently and I am sure that many families know the impact and fall-out that can arise from that situation.  He had recently remarried, but also had children in their twenties who decided to contest what happened to his estate because they wanted to take control away from their stepmother. It was nothing to do with me really, and I kept out of it, but I was the one who recognised that his widow was also grieving and I continued to keep in contact with her. 

One of the young sons in question kept threatening me, because I did not agree that his stepmother should be completely ostracised from the family, and years went by while this dispute remained unresolved. I don’t think that anything that I have written so far will be thought of as particularly unusual, and as this site is one of particular interest to older people, there will be some who can tell a similar story.

Recently the son I mentioned before threatened me again and because, I have heard that he has a bit of a history of brushes with the law and also because of the way that this particular threat was delivered, I began to wonder what harm he could really do and, while I know that it is the sort of thing that one would expect to see in a film, I thought that he could damage my car, or my home and I got quite worried.

I did talk to the police about my fears, but they told me that they would only be able to help by visiting the young man and I felt that that would only make the situation worse. What I had really hoped is that the threat could be officially recorded somewhere in case proof that it was made was needed at a later date.  I really wanted to get them to record my fears in case anything did come of them, but they told me that that was not an option. I also thought that I could go to a solicitor but felt that would create similar results.

The problem with such a threat is that I really hope that nothing comes of it, but I want to be sure that if it is acted on, I have evidence of the intended threat without being the family member that causes even more disruption.

Someone suggested that one way forward for me was a post-dated letter which records all the relevant dates and details.  If such a letter is registered, and posted to yourself, the date cannot be disputed.  If I write my suspicions down and post them to myself the date that the letter was posted will be proof of my suspicions.  The post mark will prove when it was written and if it is not needed there will be no need to ever open it.  So this is the approach that I have taken. 

Having done this, it occurs to me that anyone else who might find themselves in a similar situation might find this approach helpful which is why I have written it down.

TO, Southwark.

LPG found some examples of ‘I told you so’ moments…

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