Dear LPG,

I have to say that I am so glad that the human race is being encouraged to venture out of its front doors again.  I have lived alone for a while, which never really bothered me while I spent the days out and about with my friends. I can remember having to make a point of staying in for the odd day, just so that I could do some of those housework jobs that used to take time and often interrupt my social life, and I really valued my time alone at home, when I could relax and unwind. But then came lockdown, and spending nights and days locked away really did affect me quite badly.

In spite of the fact that I spent nearly all my days on the phone or internet talking to friends, I began to become really aware of the many nights that I was forced to spend alone, and I have no doubt that I am not unique when I say that I grew to hate that part of the experience the worst. Isn’t it funny how much you miss the things that you take for granted when they are suddenly taken away?

We have all read stories about families that ended up hating each other after the enforced lock down but I think that a month or two in, I began to really hate myself for a while.  I suppose that there was no one else to be really critical of, so I started to get on my own nerves. Perhaps those evenings gave me more time than I needed to think about many of those little comments that other people offer, and that I would have brushed off during better, more social times.  

Some of those little things that I have done over the years, and that I am not proud of, but have managed to suppress my memories of, came back to haunt me. And the true effect of the aging process on me became more apparent.   I remember what I used to look like and how I look now, and that didn’t help much I suppose.  When your own reflection is the only person you come into contact with, it gets easier to put yourself down.

Once I had worked out that I was not the nicest person that I knew, I went to see what the internet had to say on the subject.  I resolved to make a positive attempt to learn to like myself again and some of the information I found there came in handy. 

I found a list of things to do that are designed to help you to love yourself more and got started on that.  I took some time out to look at what I like about myself and then worked out what I could do to improve the qualities that I liked less. 

I reinvented myself by sending off for some new additions to my wardrobe and followed a list of things that helped when working out what makes a person likeable.  I also found a couple of videos on the subject.  I am not suggesting a full-grown love affair with yourself, but I have to say that making a positive attempt to become more comfortable in my own skin has made a beneficial difference to me.

Now that we are coming to the end of the really hard part of lock-down I am leaving it liking myself a lot more than I used to and I suspect that my original experience was not that unique.  So, for anyone else who needs to reinvent themselves, I thought that it might be good to share some of the websites that helped me through the experience. So LPG readers, if you really think about it and find you and yourself with a similar problem, please click on the links below which may just help you to improve your estimation of yourself…

NH, Catford

NH shares a few webpages on the subject. 

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