Dear LPG,

My grandmother was around when I was young, and I remember her as being the best gran I could have had and a lovely old lady.  She made me smile a lot with the things that she said, in fact, she always seemed to be saying something or other.  I often hoped that I would be like her when I got older but then again, when you are young, I think that you see the old people around you without realising that you really are very likely one day to get old yourself. 

We lived about a mile away from her so there were lots of visits, but mums are older, and I remember my mum having one criticism of her mum.    My mother often told me that she could never understand why her mother talked to herself so much.

Now my mum is the grandma and I have turned into the grouchy old daughter, and I often wonder what my pre-teenaged grandchildren think of me.  My mum now talks to herself quite a lot and I must admit to finding my thoughts leaking out as words too.  It got me wondering why we do it.

I asked myself first but, when I didn’t get a satisfactory answer, I decided to ask Google and I found some interesting data on the subject.   Apparently, we nearly all talk to ourselves and we start at an early age.  The difference is that when younger people mumble this and that to themselves, they usually make sure no one else is around to hear.  Saying what you think helps you to concentrate and can motivate you to get started.  The morning mantra is often encouraged as a way of starting the day with a positive mind set, and I have been looking in the mirror and telling my reflection that I am going to have a positive day on a daily base for years without counting that as talking to myself.  

Apparently, it helps you to put your thoughts in order, and repeating something you need to do can keep you focussed.  Talking your way through what you did with something you have misplaced can help you work out where you left it and reading something you are studying out loud often helps you to retain it. 

If you feel lonely (a feeling you don’t have to live alone to feel), perhaps reinventing your imaginary friend for the odd chat can be comforting, and perhaps letting your thoughts leak out of your head every now and then is not a bad thing.  I have no doubt that if loneliness has anything to do with it, Covid-19 and lockdown will ensure that many more people will be indulging in the future.     

As we get older, I often find myself asking my mum to repeat what she just said only to get the answer ‘don’t worry, I was only talking to myself’, and I know that I am doing it more and more too. 

We often remember the days when she would criticise her mum.  We had a chat about the habit not so long ago and when I asked her why she does it, she came up with what I consider to be the most fundamental reason when she told me, ‘If you ask yourself a question you know you will get the right answer.’

YH, Bellingham

YH shares what the internet taught her…

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