Dear LPG,

I think you might call me one of those people who cannot help but take pride in the country where I was born and grew up, and that is England.  But I could be accused of being a bit of a split personality on that score because, like many others and as old as I am, I was one of those children born to Caribbean visitors that came to England.  Like so many my parents were only going to be here a couple of years but things overtook them and their self-promised visit has been extended to the point where I pledge allegiance to both countries (unless the two are pitted against each other in a cricket or football match, at which point, Jamaica gets my vote every time).

For the past three years, I have made it my job to remind the readers of LPG’s messages that today marks the anniversary of Jamaica’s independence, but I made a promise that I have been unable to keep last year.  Covid-19 robbed us of so many of our social undertakings that I could not find any domino club to take up my offer of a ’55 tiled double nine’ game.  The Jamaican man’s national sport, dominos, has been hit too, and players now find themselves online like just about every other social activity participant.

So in the absence of a report on my promised domino encounter, I would just like to share a Jamaican joke which is so typical of our humour.  It was forwarded to me straight from that land of wood and water and I know that true Jamaicans will be able to both decipher and appreciate it…

Only Dung a yawd

‘Three Jamaican drunken men stopped a taxi.  The driver figured that they were not in their right minds, so he just switched on the engine, and then switched it back off, and then said “We reach!”  The first man gave him money, the second man said “thanks,” and the third man shot him ONE BOX INNA HIM FACE an seh, “Next time no drive so fast, u cidda kill wi awf!!!”

If you can understand it, I hope that on this Jamaican celebration day, it will put a smile on your face, but if you can’t, you just have to ask a Jamaican to explain.

Happy 59^th Jamaica…

TM, Catford

LPG have arranged for reading of the joke…

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