Dear LPG, 

I think one of the most difficult things to do as we get older is maintaining a friend base.  When the number that you reach when your birthday comes around is approaching one comprising three digits quite quickly, the friends that we have around us become a bit farther and fewer in number.  You don’t have to have got there yet to know this and, after the couple of years we have just experienced, getting back to normal has been a lot more difficult for many of us.

We also know that friends are so important and so it is vital we share the friendship around and, while the days are long and before the nights start drawing in again, it might just be the time to get out there and add one or two extra friends to your group.  

Maybe someone new has moved near to where you live lately, no matter if that is in your street, into one of the apartments on the same floor as yours in your sheltered housing block or if they are the new members of one of the day centres that you attend.  

I know that one of the hardest parts of making new friends is actually getting the courage up to make that first approach. There is always the ‘knock on the door and introduce yourself approach’ but once those words have been spoken, the introduction can often be complete, often with no need for more than a future ‘Hello’ if you happen to pass each other.   

Some new neighbours will happily ask for that cup of sugar while others will find that approach really hard so, perhaps it is up to one of the established neighbours to offer the invitation to bring the new person into the neighbourhood or friendship fold, especially if they appear to have moved in on their own.   A question or two about their interests followed by a request for a bit of advice on the subject is one way of drawing them in, but the last time I found myself looking for a little advice about how to go about it one of my established friends had this to say. At the risk of coming over as a bit of a busy body, one of the best things to do is to make sure you ask them for a bit of help and offer them your help in return.    

This happened on our street a month or two ago and, following this bit of advice has allowed me to find a new friend and a new interest into the bargain; a couple of commodities which are so precious as you get older and a bit lonelier.  It turns out that we are both interested in gardening.

I was motivated to put this all on paper when I found out that there is an ‘International Friendship Day’ and, if LPG have been able to publish my message when I asked, today is the day.  

I know a lot of these celebrations are easy to dismiss but, no matter if they moved in ages ago or last week, every day is one where it is good to remember that Friendship is one of the most important things we can have…

AP, Sydenham 

AP suggests that, if you substitute the words ‘work’ and ‘nights out’ for’ hobbies, ‘social clubs’’ and ‘day centres’ the following links might be useful… 

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LPG offers a little on the significance of the day’s celebration…

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