Dear LPG, 

Over the past couple of years, I found it quite hard being so isolated because although, during this pandemic, we were so lucky to have the phone to fall back on, you don’t really want to become that person who phones one friend so often that you outstay your audio welcome.  I have a friend who I thought of as a bit like that but having thought about it everyone needs someone that they feel they can really talk to and there is something satisfying about being able to be that ‘go to’ person for someone else. 

I have been living where I do for decades and so have many of my neighbours.  There are still a few who have not moved away and one in particular that I have known ever since we used to walk our then young children to the local primary school together.  Even though I have been a pensioner for more than 10 years, the only thing that has really changed is that I don’t go to work anymore. In spite of all that has happened during the past couple of years, I still have a life that I cannot fit into the 24-hour pigeon holes that I try to force it into and I fail every day.

My neighbour’s children, on the other hand, have moved quite a distance away and, while I gave up being married long before I had to give up work, she dedicated her life to being a full time mum.  The problem with that is that when the children leave they leave a bigger hole in your life if they were your only focus when they were young and I am so aware that she is having real trouble filling that void.  

The pandemic has not helped because it has resulted in forcing so many people to be unable to pursue their usual pastimes.   I found that that made me a bit lazier but, after two years of hardly getting out, I think it has really got her down.  We have spent quite a lot of lockdown time talking to each other on the phone even though I can see her house from my front room window.  She was that person who phoned and talked so much that I sometimes wanted to get on with other things while talking to her.

The problem is that I worry about saying the wrong thing or giving the wrong advice.  After all, she tells me that a lot of her problems stem from the way that her husband’s attitude towards her has become stayed and I have long since stopped being an expert on that score.

I have found some online ideas about how to improve my listening skills and know that there must be so many people with friends who really need a listening ear these days which is why I thought a couple of them might help some LPG readers who have a similar dilemma. 

MM, Catford 

MM passes on some of the online suggestions she has found…

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LPG has found a little information about today’s celebration…

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