Dear LPG, 

I have a friend who recently fell which is something that can and has usually happened to us many times as we go through life but, during later life when our bones are more susceptible to breakage, getting up again without injury becomes a bit more of a challenge.  

We all know that a fall in your mid-eighties can cause a lot more damage than one sustained in earlier years and the friend that I am talking about managed to do something pretty serious to his hip which left him in hospital for some three months.  

Just visiting him regularly during that time has taught me quite a bit about how such a fall or any other accident can impact on more than its physical results.  One thing that my conversations with my friend taught me is even though the healing process requires a lot of rest and sleep, it can also leave its sufferer with far too much time to think on their hands.  

While, as a visitor you always try to find subjects of conversation which will lift the spirit of the person you are visiting, no matter where our talks started, they would end with his telling me of plans that he had for when he returned home which though practical were also very worse-case-scenario focussed.

He is and has always been very fixated on getting better since the fall but that focus for him is completely channelled into being able to get up and around again physically, and he is doing very well, but I keep telling him that he needs to recover mentally too. 

I know that nothing works universally but I have noticed one missing component throughout the months of his ordeal.  While he is not showing signs of depression and he is preoccupied with his future in a very practical way, he appears to have left himself with no time to remember more positive aspects of his surroundings that will not change regardless of how well his recovery progresses. 

He appears to have lost interest in anything apart from his predicament and so I am trying to reawaken his interest in aspects of life which interested him before the accident happened.  Things such as the news; international, local, social and of family, friends and what is going on around him.  I have been trying to encourage him to read and take in fact or fiction by listening to the radio or watching television again.  

I was interested to read the recent LPG article about being able to drive again after illness or an accident has had an impact on your mobility (►►►) and being able to show him that has also given him a renewed sense of positivity.  In fact, I think that one’s visitors are best positioned to remind our recovering friends that other things are worth keeping up to date with…

It is often said, but I think that my recent experience of watching the progress of my friend has taught me, that if it is important to focus on more than your own immediate problems under normal circumstances, that has to be doubly important when you are recovering from physical illness. 

NT, Lewisham