Dear LPG, 

Some people, no matter their age, find getting on and being a popular member of their social group something that comes naturally, while others don’t; and I have always been one of the don’ts.

While I now know that there is more than one reason that some people are less outgoing than others, I have always struggled with feeling comfortable at parties and talking frankly about those personal matters others seem to find so easy to let slip without worrying. I was the sort of school child who was too embarrassed to put my hand up and ask to be excused to go to the toilet. I am not that bad now, but when I think of some of the things that people tell each other without batting an eyelid, I know that I will be the one in the group that is, more often than not, secretly trying to hide my embarrassment at what I have heard.

All my life, I have been the one who would rather not go out with friends and who has always kept myself to myself, although the longer you live, the braver you get, I suppose. I am now retired and as old as I am, and after all the time I have had to get better at communicating, I realise it takes me so much longer than most to make a real friend. 

I wanted to write about this and feel able to because I know that LPG will not divulge who I am, and while I have learnt to live with the way that I am, I have retired, which, to me, is a sort of social ‘start again point’ where I am going to have to make new friends and find something to do with the rest of my life, and that worries me although I suppose I am coping.

I have now learned that all the insecurities that I have had for so much of my life might be there because I am one of the world’s introverts, which is not necessarily a bad thing if you are happy that way, but I worry that as I get older, it will be harder to cope with.

Most people learn to live a lonelier life, but I can see a time when, as I get older, it will get more complicated. I have to say that while I have written all this down, the thought of confiding in anyone who knows who I am is the most worrying aspect of what I am talking about. With this in mind, I did a little internet research and found some information which I think might help if you are a bit like me and having seen it, I would like to share it. 

XX, somewhere in Lewisham

XX found a few quizzes to help you decide if you are introverted (although, to answer the questions, you might have to think about a slightly younger version of you)

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