Dear LPG, 

I have a question that I think every retired person should ask themselves now and then: 'If you needed to introduce yourself to someone you were meeting for the first time, what would be your first words.'  

Most people would start with their name, I have no doubt, and then move on to what they do for a living. Whenever you see the beginning of a game show, the contestants seem to start with those two details, but if after that, the person you were introducing yourself to was still looking at you with an expectant, 'and…' expression on their face after you had stated those two facts, what would you say next?  

I asked Google this question, and they gave the same answer. However, most websites appeared to assume that you would be making the introduction in a work setting to impress the person you were talking to in some way. In that situation, we all know there is always an ulterior motive behind any introduction, which involves selling yourself and making the best impression.

We older people so often forget what makes us special once we have been retired for a few years, and even if we are not trying to impress or introduce ourselves to anyone else, we have a bit of trouble trying to remind ourselves of how special we are.  

The other day, I was with a friend, and what started as a casual chat soon left me realising that she was feeling somewhat down in the dumps. I did my best to be positive, but as we talked, she concluded that she had done very little during her lifetime before the conversation became a list of all the things she regretted not having done while she was young enough to do them.  

I asked her what she had done with her life, and though she started by saying not a lot, we soon talked about her school days and what she found herself doing during WW II. We talked about things she and her children had done and what those much older children are doing now. We talked about the things she started when she was younger and never finished, and she realised that even though she would have to do some of them in a more watered-down way, she could go back to trying to achieve a few of them.  

This is someone that I knew, having met her some years ago in an older people's social club. I learned so much about her unusual life, but most importantly, I think that she learned a lot about the things she had achieved and done during her lifetime and saw the possibilities of getting back to a few of them.

I suppose a conversation like that can come over as if you are being a bit nosy, but sometimes giving someone who has managed to slip into a negative and regretful state of mind the opportunity to talk about themselves can lift their mood.  

As we get older real friends can become a bit thin on the ground, and it is hard to remind yourself about all the adventures you have had, even though I defy anyone to get to their seventies without having had a few. We can so often do with a friend to remind us of the positives that we have achieved, the things we promised ourselves we would do, and all the funny situations that we can look back and laugh about in hindsight.   

Perhaps a bit of reminiscing with an old friend about their life experiences or being that inquisitive someone new who wants to hear the whole story from the beginning can be the memory jogger that lifts the spirit and can remind a person about just how special they are and just how much there still is to do if you put your mind to it… 

CP, Brockley