Dear LPG

I am a fairly young pensioner, but when I look at my family members from the age point of view, I am gradually getting nearer the top of the list. I think of myself as a person who looks at things from a relatively positive point of view.

We are a relatively sizeable, close-knit brood by comparison with many modern families. We all live at most eight miles away from each other, and we meet at least once a month for a family dinner.  I rate myself at the bottom end of the top third of the family age list (oldest at the top), and I am considered the life and soul of the party.  I am in the age bracket where I have the time to step back and observe the rest of the clan as the young ones rush around; the middle ones, including me, have slowed down a little and are considered the laid-back section, while the old ones always seem to have something to moan about.

My aunt is now the oldest and has a gift for seeing the negative side of everything.  Anything she is given to eat is too hot, cold, or lacking sufficient salt or sugar.  She would have cooked it a different way or chosen another menu.  The younger family members don’t study enough and waste too much time, but there is always some problem that needs addressing before we get to the subject of her aches and pains.   She lives independently and depends on the family when it comes to getting out of the house. Family members try their best to make regular visits to see her.   I now have more time than most and try to visit her several times a week.    

I know that not every older adult is the same, but visiting her can sometimes leave me feeling quite negative, even though we love her dearly.   

It occurred to me recently to look on the internet to see if I could find anything I could do to help our visits leave me feeling a little more positive and her feeling a little less negative. I found some advice.  

I know that a negative outlook on life is not exactly age-related, and there is a lot about the negativity that getting older brings with it. There is not a lot of specific advice and a lot of what is there assumes that you must be a much younger person dealing with an older negative person, but I did find a few hints and what I think is a positive message to share.  

One of the more negative ideas I came across was advice about avoiding people who get you down. If we all did that, there would be some people with no friends in the world, and my aunt would probably be at the top of that list. I will not include that link; after all, if everyone adopted that stance, so many more people would have fewer friends in their lives.

Age aside, there must be other readers with a few negative people around them, and what I found might be helpful, although there must also be many people who have a few ideas that have been missed so far.

If so, please pass them on.    

YP, Brockley