Dear LPG readers, 

I wonder if you agree that we are more likely to be invited to funerals as we age than any of the big three accepted social gatherings (the other two being weddings and christenings). I attended three during the first three weeks of January 2024, which is problematic.  

But I recently received an invitation to attend an arguably more uplifting event. My friend, who is now 69, is getting married again. Half of me is happy for her, but having tried it once, the other half has made me wonder why she would want to endure all that stress at her age.  

So many of my friends have gotten married and divorced for many different reasons, but just a short amount of thought on the subject left me thinking about how many of my friends are still happily spliced and how many have decided to go it alone. A couple of them have been there more than once, although one marriage was enough for me. 

I then got thinking about our relationships with our ex-spouses.  If it all happened years ago, we are likely to have moved on to get married again or to have watched them do that, but if there were children involved, that would have become a little more difficult because decisions have to be made. The other problem is that some of your family members will inevitably get attached to them just as your want to detach yourself becomes strong. When your children get older, they will likely update you about what is happening in their other parent’s life.  

Perhaps we older people are more likely to have let time do its business and soften the hurt that forced the original break up. We become a little more accepting when it comes to being at the grandchildren’s christenings, graduations and weddings, even if you need to be at the other end of the event room.  

Whatever you think of your ex (or exes), the one thing that surprises me is that more than one of my friends who have not talked to their ex for years has gotten involved when that ex has become ill or needs help in older age.  

I have just read online that some 35% of UK marriages end in divorce after more than 50 years. When I see figures like that, I am hopeful that even those who have moved on, remarried, or watched those ex-other halves remarry, would get stuck in and help out if the situation arose.   

YP, Brockley.

For those who are into statistics, LPG found a few that might be interesting…

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