Are you your family’s ‘Just like Mum’…?
31 Jul 2024
Dear LPG
I recently read an article on your pages which reminded me of something I believe we have been robbed of together with our lazy Sunday afternoons ((►►►). In the article I am referring to, JB talked about that much-diminished institution of the family Sunday dinner. However, I believe that ULEZ and the fact that the children all move miles away in order just to be able to buy a house these days are also to blame.
One family member would host dinner for all the in-laws, kids, and grandkids, or the venue would be rotated. When ‘do-nothing-Sundays’ were well and truly underpinned by family dinners, the young knew much more about their cousins, aunts and uncles, including the older ones. I believe that so much family unity has been lost due to my outlined changes. Those weekly events that we now only have time for once or twice a year would include the older family members because the grands and the greats would be an integral part of the ritual. If Grandma’s or Grandad’s house were not the venue, they would be picked up by one of the other attendees as part of the routine.
Eating was one of the central parts of the proceedings and is now yet another often-lost part of the event. There would be that signature dish that one of the older matriarchs (or perhaps patriarchs) turned up with, which reminded the rest of the family of their good times from long ago.
The recipe might be secret or shared, but any other member who tried to produce a version knew that theirs would never be accepted as being quite as good as the original.
Now that such family events have become few and far between, and as the person who makes the perfect version gets older, that particular dish and all the memories that its taste provoked do not get the opportunity to be shared as they used to, and if we are not careful, they will get lost forever.
My plea today is to those ‘just like mum used to make’ producers of the family’s signature recipe, whether today’s grandmothers or grandfathers, a maiden aunt or another family member fits that bill. Please don’t leave it too late to pass them on, even the secret ones. I have checked on the internet, and there are lots of books that purport to have secrets, but good though they may be, we all know that the recipes there will never be the same.
After what I have said, I can almost hear some reader’s resolve, having read my impassioned plea, to commit the secret to paper, even if you feel the need to hide the manuscript with your will, but even that may not be enough.
I suggest getting all the girls of a certain age and any ‘new men’ together for an event reminiscent of television’s MasterChef programme, although perhaps the judging should be limited to what could be better without sending anyone home or pronouncing a winner (that would be a recipe for another of those ‘family spats’ that JB alluded to).
I appeal to all those who, until now, have been busy hiding the details of a culinary family heirloom, to pass them on, perhaps on paper, but spend a day getting the next generation of your family to keep it alive for the future.
If none of them is the family's incredible cook, it's okay, but try your best to get them practising while ‘just like mum’ watches to ensure that at least one has a near-perfect version at their fingertips. Of course, not one of them will ever get it to be as good as yours, but a comment or two will help after a couple of practice runs and guarantee that you have left a version as good as it can get before it is too late.
You might taste a version that aspires to be a delicious variation on the original theme. Still, as they say, the journey to perfection is as important as perfection itself.
I would also advocate a family get-together for taste testing a bit more often if arranged because it minimises your need to choose a winner.
Ironically, there are so many ways that we have regressed despite knowing better days.
SA, Downham.