Dear LPG

As an older person, I feel less need to rush everywhere. This leaves so much more time to observe the small scenarios around me that have always played out, but I admit to seeing them now while paying a little more attention.

A mind travelling to work is often full of problems that need to be faced on the day, while without such things to worry about anymore, we older people have more time to look around us and compare what we see with what we have done and experienced. It has to be an undisputed truth that we have negotiated a much longer life and all situations we see differently as the previous preoccupations are no longer needed.

As I journey through life beyond my front door and observe family and friends that I know, I am witnessing role reversal among this present generation.  

Daughters are swapping roles with their mothers in many ways.  I hear daughters talking to their mothers in a manner I expect mothers to speak to daughters.   Little snippets of conversation highlight everything from small suggestions to orders that are part of such dialogues. However, as the pair age, the daughters often offer directives while the older women comply more.   I have also seen it happen with elderly dads as they ‘do as told’ by the younger men who appear to be their sons, and while sometimes one can see suggestions being agreed to, at times, there is a flavour of orders being part of the package.  Whatever the sex of the younger and older members of these snippets of conversation, they can be seen at bus stops and in shopping checkout queues, and there is rarely any apparent malice or intent involved.

I am often left thinking that I would never accept being ‘parented’ by any of my children, although I also acknowledge that my cognitive abilities remain intact for now.  

Throughout life, it is recognised that parents are the elders, and with their maturity and understanding, we expect them to dictate what is right from wrong for their younger generations. Sons and daughters, regardless of their age, will never be as old as their parents or more mature with experience, but what I observe reminds me of how memory loss and dementia can force the need for role reversal. 

Some adult children may become more educated than their parents. Hence, their attitude is to dominate and dictate situations. But it is one of those observances that those with the times, and that I cannot help but see …

Rudy Morgan