Dear LPG,

I read and agreed totally with what TB of Plumstead had to say about getting everyone to take their mobile phones with them whenever they go out. I am in exactly the same position as that writer with a parent who nearly always leaves the house without the two really vital articles mentioned in that post, which was dated September 5^th 2017 (►►►).

But, for me, it opened up the can of worms that contains a whole other subject.  My mum has moved in with me too, and although we have been living in the same house again for the past 6 years she has not got into that routine of having everything in its place.  She is well over 80 now and always blames her memory for leaving everything nearly anywhere.  It happens many times per week but especially nearly every time that we are just about ready to go through the front door.  That is when panic sets in, because she nearly always realises that she can’t remember what she has done with something that she cannot possibly leave the house without.  It is at that point that we both have to drop everything and the frantic search for her purse, keys, phone, scarf or something else begins.  It is usually found relatively quickly under the cushion on her armchair, on the kitchen counter, or where ever she has left it the last time she used it.  She is a perfectly competent driver in her own right and I remember one evening when the cry went out… “I have lost my purse, everything was in it.  What am I going to do?”  We found it in her car boot on that occasion, but the most expensive thing that she ever misplaced has to be a pair of glasses.

We were both going to the same place so she decided that I should drive.  Punctuality was never our strong point and we had planned two stops on the way.  Firstly, we went to visit an aunt and Mum went to the door while I stayed in the car.  On the way to the second stop we wanted to make, she started to fidget and I realised that she was looking for something.  We were already underway by now and I was driving but I asked what she was looking for.   She told me that her glasses where the problem but she found them under the car seat before we got to stop number two.  She wanted to leave a note for someone, but there was a dustcart blocking the road ahead and heading towards us.  She suggested that I turn the car so that we would be ready to precede the dustcart out of the turning (we were getting a bit late by this time), and I did as I was told.  As I performed the requested three point turn I heard a ‘crunch’ but thought nothing of it, she got back into the car and we were soon on our way again.  We had not got far when the fidgeting began once more.  You’ve guessed it - It was the glasses that were missing.  I drove on and she looked for a short while, then Mum suggested that they may have dropped out of the car door as she went to do her delivery and asked me to turn around just in case. It was then that I knew it was too late for them, but we retraced our steps to find the most expensive result of her mislaying habit to date. 

I keep telling her that routine is the secret.  The weirdest thing is that this is one of the many lessons I was made to practice when I was growing up - and by whom; by my mum.

Taking your phone and keys out with you depends on knowing where they are and that old saying, ‘a place for everything and everything in its place’ is proved to be the phrase needed here.

GI, Forest Hill