Dear LPG readers,

 

 

There are so many online websites that have proved that one of the fundamental routes to a successful retirement is making sure that you have enough friends around you, but the problem can be that, having left work for the last time, it can often be the case that all those people that you didn’t think that you knew that well, but that you spent many a lunch and break time passing the time of day with, can often be your closest friends.  Retiring from work can so often mean leaving them and their busy lives behind into the bargain…

 

 

I spent most of my working years in offices, and I remember so many work mates who I felt that I had to be really guarded with because I would occasionally hear them chatting with one of the others about yet another work colleague who had let some little personal fact slip, or perhaps who offered an opinion about the way they dressed or treated some of the other people around them. 

 

 

Sometimes they would be talking to you about another person that you both knew and, while you just nodded in agreement, you wondered what they were saying about you when you were not there.  What I am trying to say is that while circumstances dictated that they were your closest friends because they were the ones you saw nearly every day, that did not mean that they were the ‘closest’ friends that you thought you would be able to rely on if push came to shove.

 

 

Retirement can be a new start from the social point of view but, for some that can be a positive thing while for others the thought of finding a new set of day-to-day friends can feel like the beginning of yet another new nightmare. 

 

 

When you have just left work and find that your social circle becomes a lot smaller it can be really hard to get it growing again.  You will have friends that have come into your life and long since disappeared again.  Time and space and all the little changes that have happened throughout life often can have a habit of throwing some really big gaps between those people that you would class as your best friends, and contact with them on the phone is really not enough.

 

 

They say that one way to find friends is to find a social club or group that focusses in on the things that interest you most, but after decades of being distracted by work, children and all those other things that get in the way, getting back on the friend- finding horse can be a really big challenge.

 

 

The advice is to find something to do during the days but in my experience, as you walk into a club, older person’s community centre or any other social gathering there will nearly always be a spare seat at one of the tables or even a spare person, one that is sitting alone, and perhaps that is where you should start your new friendship offensive.  Perhaps, given a little time, the stranger you first encounter might, after just a few meetings, advance to the rank of ‘close friend’ and then even graduate to ‘new best friend’ status.

 

 

When looking at the bigger picture it is said that in comparison to its surrounding boroughs, Lewisham has a lot of clubs and activities in place for us older people once we retire and, while I think that walking through the entrance door to one of them for the first time can be one of the hardest things to do, especially if you have to do it alone, it is so important to make the effort. Nearly every one of the centres and clubs that you find will be in a position where they need to justify their existence by showing that there are enough people attending and, just by visiting, you will be making all the difference to their continued survival.

 

 

So, if you only find new people who have the potential to become close friends by virtue of the fact that you see them regularly, remember that becoming a part of their social circle is likely to not only enhance your social life, but go some way to ensuring that those clubs can continue to be a haven that provides a place where other first-time retirees can find a potentially close friend.

 

 

SA, Crofton Park