Dear LPG readers,  

Here is a question for you; when you are asked about your pre-teenaged grandchildren are you more likely to talk about their latest toy or amusing habit, or would you be listing their school achievements.  

I am a grandparent with four grandchildren.  I think that ten is the age when you start to lose touch with them no matter how close they live.   

I have two that live in Kent and, and that seems quite a distance now that I don’t get around as much as I used to, and another two who I have hardly ever managed to have any real conversations with.  They live abroad  and though I have visited and vice versa on occasion during their lives, it has been a long time since I have actually had the opportunity to talk with them face to face.   

I feel lucky that I do have more than pictures to mark their growth history with, and I have many in my collection, although when I look at all of them I am aware of how much closer I am to the ones who are geographically  closer to me. 

Over the years I have mastered the art of online chat, but video calls always end up being hurried because of something or other that they or their parents need to do.  Talking to the ones in the same time zone as me can be challenge enough, although I am grateful that we have smart phones because, in  spite of the greater distance between me and the other two, I can say that I have had the opportunity to see them grow at least once a fortnight albeit online.  Letters and emails have their place but who writes these days?  Being able to talk and interact with them has been invaluable although there is something special about those grandparent-grandchild chats that mum and dad aren’t always needed to organise.  The ones that do have mobile phones have parents who limit who their little ones can call unsupervised, which I think is a good thing.  

I do have to say that my chats with them don’t last very long though.  As soon as we get started there always seems to be some scheduled activity that is a bit more important or something their parents need to talk about.  The youngest is ten while the oldest is fourteen, which I think  is still quite young but they are all so busy and preoccupied that I feel I have missed out as a grandparent somewhat.    

A few of my friends and I were talking about our grandchildren recently and a couple have helped with the school run and babysitting over the years, which they agree has been invaluable when it comes to getting to really know the little ones.  But, while many  live quite locally to their grandparents,  it appears that all of us start complaining about missing their telephone chats and visits which have a habit of becoming a little less frequent as they get to double figures.  When referring to their grandchildren as they get to that age, I have noticed that the little personal things that they do which make us smile are suddenly swapped for their academic and educational achievements.    

I remember being a grandchild who, like most of my friends at the time,  lived close enough to my grandparents to stop in and say hello on the way home from school a couple of times a week with my mum and brothers.  I think that we did not have the many distractions and obligations that today’s young people have now. 

They do become a focus and I remember being a mum who had withdrawal symptoms when my children got too busy  but I remember all the complications of life starting at a slightly later age for me although  I might be wrong…   

They are so important to us and losing them to the many responsibilities that get in the way reminds me of being a parent that has to watch a child as he or she becomes independent and flees the nest.   

I have no doubt there are few grandparents that need reminding to make the most of them while they are young no matter where in the world they live …  

SO, Lewisham