Dear LPG Readers,  

I wonder if anyone remembers those school-day exams when you found yourself sitting in a hall or room full of students each at solitary desks placed just too far away from each other for you to be able to talk to anyone else in the room, even if it were legal to do so.  In front of each student would be that bit of completely blank paper but for the question on the reverse side.    

It all came back to me when my grandson took me to one side and described exactly the same scenario after one of his recent mock exams, in spite of the fact that my last such examination experience happened at least 45 years ago. 

While you wait for the invigilator to tell you that it is time to turn over your paper, if you were me, you would have had no worries because you would have put in the work and studied the subject thoroughly, but then, you get the instruction to turn your papers over and, having read the first question, you realise you didn’t actually study that aspect of the subject as thoroughly as you might have and you have no idea where to start with the answer.   


I was thinking about all this and reliving the worst exam moment of my life when I should have been listening to his experience, and I realised when my young relative stopped talking, that I was none the wiser about whether, in his estimation, the exam he was talking about went well or the other way.  

He told me this a few days before the results were due to be issued and a few days later he learned that he did not do badly at all, but taking myself back to my experience (which recurred on quite a few occasions) reminded me that I was not the best student. 

It was obvious that he was more than a little worried about his performance and all those words of reassurance that I tried to offer once I had come back to earth were not helping to lift his mood much.  I tried the ‘don’t worry it as only the mock exam’ approach and ended up with the, ‘what will be will be’ speech but I don’t think that either would have helped me very much either when I was his age.  

There is no doubt that, however well or badly you think you did, the worst part of any such situation is waiting to see what the official outcome is, and when I really thought about it those moments happen at all stages of life. 

For us older people, it is more likely to be the result of a health test of some sort and you can’t even study for those, so it is vital to keep calm although that can be easier said than done. I am also guilty of studying a course in retirement where there was an exam option at the end and declining to go there.  Partly because the result would have made no difference but partly for fear of a bad one that I might have to tell other people about. 

Once I had the time to come back down to earth, I took a look on line to see what wisdom was to be found and there is quite a lot of advice.  The idea of focussing on other things and reminding yourself that worrying will not change the outcome were the things that stood out most for me and perhaps the best thing that we can say in such a situation (whether we are talking to a troubled grandchild or dealing with our own fears), are reminders that what will be will be, and somehow we all manage to get through life regardless of how fate changes the goalposts.  I defy any pensioner to disagree with that notion.  

I remember one first day of the new college term when the first question that was being asked between students was ‘how did you do in the exams?’   I can’t remember my answer and, knowing me it was not that remarkable, but one student’s answer was. ‘I passed but ‘they’ failed me’.  I have decided that perhaps that is the way to look at any result regardless of the official consequences.  If you didn’t do your best it is never too late to improve and if you know you did, what else matters?  

CN, Bellingham 

 

CN shares a few words of wisdom learned from the internet…

 

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