Dear LPG,  

I am not sure if anyone has ever mentioned this before but I don’t think that it is a bad thing to make the point again if that is the case.  

I am a lady of pensionable age who still attends church each Sunday and, for years, I used to drop in on a neighbour on the way and we would walk there together.  I didn’t really know her that well but she was an active member of the choir and a church elder, in fact she was on many other committees and was really involved with everything that went on there.   This lady was already in her eighties when my ‘pick up’ service first started and, from time to time, she would mention that just knowing that I would be on her doorstep and waiting for her was the reason that motivated her to be ready even on the days when she did not feel motivated to make the effort.   

There is nothing particularly remarkable about that really, and I can hear each person reading this thinking exactly that.  My stopping at her door each Sunday carried on and as we both got older my ring on the bell got a bit earlier each week because both of us started to take a bit longer to do the same journey as the years passed.   

About two years ago she had a fall which left her unable to leave her bed and I have watched as she has had no choice but to give up all the aspects of her church life, not to mention all the other things she used to do.  I still pass her door each Sunday morning and, on the way home after the service, I continue to visit and keep her updated with what has happened there.  More recently, she does not talk as much as she used to and I can’t help but see how being unable to get out is taking its toll on her. 

Two years have gone by and I still go nearly every week. Her children live quite a way away but have installed one of those CCTV cameras so that they can talk to her and see what is going on.  They do their best to visit and over time, I have learned a little about them and I now have been trusted with their phone numbers and the number to her key-safe so that I can visit.   Sometimes there is not much to say but we watch a bit of telly, sing a hymn or two or share cups of tea.  Both my host and I have been known to doze from time to time during my visits while being watched on the CCTV by her daughter.   

One day not so long ago I knew that her daughter would be with her at the time I usually arrived and I felt that perhaps they could do with some time alone.  After all, all I ever do when I visit is talk and she had her daughter with her that day.   

But I hardly got home before my telephone rang and I was asked where I was by her daughter.  I said I wanted to give her a little time alone with her mum and she told me that when family visit they are often busy sorting things out and tidying up the details that other carers never have the time to do, and she told me that I was missed.   

She explained that her mum really appreciated seeing someone who just came to be with her rather than do things for her.   

I never realised just how important just being there is until that was pointed out to me so, if anyone reading this feels that they do very little when they visit someone who can’t get out of their house or even out of their bed, my message has to be: just sitting there is as important as doing all the other things that need to be done.   


GF, Crofton Park.