Dear LPG 

I spent my working life as a bus driver and although the job can be described as one where you do the same old thing day in and day out, many amusing things happened.  I took the time to write some of them down and have offered a few of the stories over the years.   I offer them in the hope that readers on this site will remember those old fashioned busses which had three things that modern buses don’t have anymore:  a conductor, the necessity to pay with real money, and no back door…   

Many drivers had stories to tell and I wrote some of them down.  This story might amuse…  

The Self-taught lesson.    

Some years ago I was paired with a conductor who was young, good looking and who knew it. He was a very nice young man but a bit full of himself and he had a unique way of getting down the stairs.  He would take hold of each rail when at the top, and swing his legs forwards so that he slid to the bottom of the stairs.  I got very used to hearing the ‘thud’ as he landed on the platform and after having stopped and being rung off with the upstairs buzzer I got very good at accurately counting the seconds and would listen expectantly to hear the anticipated thud. On one occasion the buzz came and I counted but there was no thud, which concerned me a little.  Instinct compelled me to take an extra look in the rear view mirror and as I drove off I saw my mate appear feet first making an express flying exit from the bus.  It must have been telepathy because we both ‘broke’ at the same moment.  The only difference was that I broke by putting my right foot on the bus’s brake while he managed to miss his footing and the last step on the staircase, which is why I heard no thud, and he had to spend the next 6 weeks off work with a broken ankle.  My conductor learned a valuable lesson that day and never tried the trick again on his return to work. 


Driver…95671 

 

JB, Lewisham.