Dear LPG Ladies, 

Have you noticed that there are less and less reasons for us ladies to get a new dress these days? I know that most men really don’t mind that much.  In the event of any significant family invitation, they will just reach for their trusty old dress suit. 

These were some of the conclusions that a friend and I came to when we were chatting one day not so long ago  

We have learned the art of what to do with our mobile phones and a quick check of the facts informed us that about a quarter of the UK’s 2020’s couples cohabit rather than get married, and when the newest members of our families pop into the world, less than one tenth of them get christened, although naming ceremonies are on the rise.    

We did a little survey of our own and worked out that between the two of us, we boasted nine grandchildren and not one had been officially received with a family get-together and a photo opportunity.  In fact, the oldest of the group is now 15 and has celebrated each one of those birthdays with a party, but her initial, official arrival event never happened.  It was also a fact that, the youngest 4 have each had a baby shower arranged in their honour before they ever arrived. 

Religious or not, I think that the idea of having an official set of substitute guardians as back up just in case, is not a bad idea and the excuse for an after party where every member of the little one’s extended family gets to meet and have a bit of a chat cannot be a bad thing.  

I remember when the after party was a few sandwiches back at home but, over the years, it seems that there has to be a hired hall, lots of food and all the trimmings, all of which have succeeded in pricing such events off the financial scale for so many.  I suppose most will say that the baby will never remember the party anyway, and pictures are two a penny now that mobile phones can take them at a moment’s notice  

I think that we grandparents quickly learn not to ask too many questions of our children once they flee the nest, especially when we become mothers and fathers in law (of a child who is married or living with the other parent of a grandchild) for fear of upsetting your child’s partner, but I have broached the question a few times.   

The two of us both can tell stories of the great amounts of money spent on the birthday parties and presents that Mummy and Daddy felt much more of a priority than the official niceties that used to come with the more formal gatherings which were once equally as important.   

Sadly, as we and the world get older, those special events tend to happen more frequently at the other end of life but, with the recent spate of television adverts designed to encourage us to skip that ritual as well, even that will most probably become another event of the past.   

Money seems to again be at the root of the answer when it comes to any landmark family event these days, and if we are not careful, the family get-together will only happen at Christmas, Easter, and during our bank holidays, although the internet states that birthday celebrations are on the rise.  Not necessarily with the family though. 

Perhaps it is up to us Oldies to remind the younger ones that the opposite of family can often be loneliness as you get older, and we are all headed that way.   

I believe that, if we are ever going to maintain our families, we really need to perpetuate a few more of these rituals.     

OC, New Cross. 

 

 

OC shares some of what was found on their phones during the conversation…

 

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