Dear LPG readers, 

Something I read on your pages got me doing a bit of research recently 

(►►►).  The article offered one way to repair a damaged friendship, and I felt that IA offered a lot of wisdom there, but all her talk about fractured relationships between neighbours got me thinking about just how long the average person remains living in the same home.  

The internet had quite a bit of information about how often people of differing ethnicities are likely to move house, but I had a bit of difficulty finding any statistics on how age affects the average person’s home-shopping habits. 

I found a couple of websites that were in agreement and informed that the average person moves about 8 times and roughly once every 23 years, although I have quite a few friends who have lived in the same house for a lot longer than that. 

Another bit of internet information I came across more than once, informed that moving house is right up there when a count of the most stressful life events that most people encounter is taken into consideration.  I have lived in the same house for over 40 years, and quite a few of my older friends tell a similar story.  I think that we are lucky because we have escaped all the worry that comes with moving house. 

Finding new places for my old things, all the adjustments to those routines (changed bus, train and driving routs), adjusting to a new grocery shop (you so get to know where everything is in the one you are used to), all that packing and unpacking, changing all your utility providers, getting your mail sorted, and the list goes on.   


The last time that I did it, I was part of a young family and, while there was a husband and children to worry about, I had someone to share all that worry with.  I don’t know where I would start if I had to do it now.  When we have lived in the same place for so long, we tend to accumulate so many things, and while I keep trying to keep on top of getting mine all sorted out, I am not doing a very good job.  

Apart from all the practical challenges involved, I think that it would be even more difficult to have to start getting to know a whole new set of neighbours.  Perhaps that is an easier task when you are younger, but even then I remember it being a case of either them turning up at your door with the introductory cup of sugar in hand before you have the place visitor-ready, or your spending time introducing yourself when they are doing a bit of front garden tidying or washing of cars.  

It is easy for some but a real challenge for others, especially when you have everything else going on as well.  As an adult, I have only ever moved twice, and the first time I moved, I found it really hard to introduce myself, but the second time, I moved into one of a set of brand new houses, and that was so much easier.  We had all moved in within a couple of weeks of each other, and no one knew any of the others.  So while we were all busy struggling to fit into our new surroundings, we were also really making the effort to get to know each other. 

They say that moving house is one of the most stressful things that you can do in life, but retiring is on many of the online ‘most stressful life-altering event’ lists I have found, too.  It can be really hard to find all your closest friends too busy with work at just the time when you have all the time in the world at your disposal.  

Perhaps it is that aspect of having to introduce yourself to a whole set of new people, which is the worst feature for some of the more introverted, and it can be easy to just keep yourself to yourself.  But it is a well-known fact that making sure you have a fairly large circle of good friends is as important as exercise, a good diet, keeping focused and all the other more obvious components of a long and healthy life.   

My point is a bit of advice to all, but particularly to those recently retired people who have found my message.  Please don’t shy away from getting out there and making a few new friends.  

VT, Bellingham 

 

LPG found some internet advice on the subject of making new friends, whatever your age…

 

 

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