Dear LPG, 

I have a friend who I believe is somewhat depressed.  I don’t think that she is about to do anything drastic, but she is definitely not her usual self.  

Perhaps it's easier for someone close to you to recognise what you're going through than it is for you to see it yourself, but we all have times when the things that are part of our lives suddenly appear in a completely different and more depressing light.    

Sometimes such feelings are triggered by a particular event in life, but often they can be the result of taking a step back and seeing your personal version of life lit up in a negative way.   

The internet tells that young people between the ages of 12 and 25 are most affected these days, but while it is not a competition, I can't remember being really depressed when I was that age.  Depression appears to be the result of many things but having too much time and too few short-term events to look forward to has to be somewhere near the top of the list of symptoms.  Perhaps depression gets to you most when there are not many people, projects or events in your life to look forward to and what you see around you does not measure up in some way.   

Having lots of extra time to do exactly what you want to do used to be the privilege of people in retirement, but that feeling is often exactly what triggers the bouts of depression we experience as we get older, and I think that it is frightening that so many young people have an equal amount of time on their hands.  Our young people should have so much to look forward to when they consider what they want to do with their lives, and I have to ask why they have so much time to think.   Life can be cruel, but one would hope that the aspirations our young people have, no matter how bizarre, would leave them looking forward with something positive to think about, 

Even if time passes as slowly for the young as it seems to when you are older, logic suggests that we oldies are more likely to have past experiences to measure our lives against while the frustrations of not being able to do things that we once could is perhaps the hardest aspect of older existence to deal with.  The health, finance, friends, and abilities that we have lost, balanced against the loneliness, lost capabilities, increasing pain, and bleak outlook for the future seem to be the main reasons for depression at this end of life. 

Looking back, when you ask the question, ‘what is the point of it all?’ is bad enough when you have a past to use as some sort of measuring stick, but I can't imagine what it is like to have a whole life ahead of you and see it through the same lens. 

Could it be that when we were young, the world around us needed fixing and we had fewer people to measure ourselves against?  And that the young today are too busy seeing all the positive bits of the lives that virtual celebrities allow us to see, while hiding the fact that they, too, have challenges. 

Perhaps, whatever our age, we need to be reminded that no matter the length of time we have left to lift ourselves out of any negativity we find ourselves in, there are some fundamentals that will help.  A diversion is not a bad thing. No matter how short-term, if you don’t have a current project to focus on, perhaps finding one could be the answer…  

The internet offers a few suggestions but the first most important step is to acknowledge that you are affected.  If more than one of your friends mention that you are not your usual self, don’t just dismiss what you have been told…  

PL, Beckenham. 

 

 

PL offers some ideas that might perk you up…

 

 

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