Dear LPG readers, 


There are many things that we have a fear of or dislike doing and I came face to face with one of mine yet again recently. I was asked to give a short talk at my local club.   Ever since I was a child I have had a serious fear of talking or reading publicly.  I think it all started when I was at school.  I was never one of the children who put their hands up even if I knew the answer to the question that the teacher asked.  


Being picked to stand up and read or say something during my English lesson was bad enough but my worst nightmare was being the one chosen to perform in French class.  We had a French teacher who I can only describe as a bit of a dragon.   I am sure Mrs Disney picked me at least every other time she decided that someone had to do the deed. Any time that I was chosen I could feel my throat go all dry, and my tongue and teeth getting in the way of each other, while my mind was not on the subject that I was supposed to be talking about.  


No matter how much I practiced in advance, if I had the chance to do that, my focus was preoccupied with what the people I was supposed to be connecting with verbally thought of my efforts and how stupid they must think me, especially if I ended up not saying what I meant to.  It is hard to forget when the teacher comments on how badly you do it nearly every time that you get to the end of the ordeal. 


No matter how old I get, I still find making those other speeches that we all have to from time to time bringing back that same anxiety and please don’t think that the thought of reading in public has ever been any easier. 


For some reason I find it is easy to communicate with one or two people at a time but if I can see three or four, the fear comes ricocheting back.  Even if I am asked for my opinion on the most basic of topics, a couple more people than a couple of people, and the need to open my mouth, takes my fear factor way up high.   There are still those times the whole family are gathered together at a wedding or some other gathering and the spotlight is on you.  I have to say that I am relieved to be old enough to be able to decline when asked to read the lesson at church. 


It is not about my ability to read.  A bedtime story for any number of grandchildren and their friends was never a problem.  


Earlier I mentioned that one or two people would not usually cause a threat but I forgot one scenario when even one person would leave me with days of advanced fear.  I wonder if anyone else knows that feeling when you are too busy concentrating on how silly you must look to your audience; no matter how small. The public I was always petrified of speaking to often consisted of only one member. I am now thinking back to the dreaded job interview (I am so glad that retirement means that I will never have to do that again!). 


I recently found out that I suffer from a combination of Bibliophobia and Glossophobia which are the names given to someone who has a fear of public utterance.   

You can tell that I am much happier writing it all down…  


PA, Woolwich. 

 

 

PA found a little internet help for those   afflicted like her…  

 

 

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