Dear LPG,  

In my estimation I am a newly retired person who left all my closest friends when I left work for the last time.  In reality it has been about 18 months since I crossed the retirement line but having booked myself a serious and extended fact finding holiday to start with, and then needing a bit of time to have a good rest when I returned.  It is only now that I am really trying to find myself a new day-to-day way of life to take me into the retirement unknown. 

I am not a shy person but I think that I have spent so much of my life with hardly any time to myself that I was really not prepared for an era of life where there is so much of it at my disposal.   

I am no shrinking violet and came to the conclusion that getting out and meeting a new set of friends had to be one way forwards but another thing we all read about so often these days is that pensioners are all-too-often the people who succumb to scams.   

During my lifetime I have been subject to the odd scam myself and while a few had to do with money, I think that there are other things that can be taken away from you leaving non-financial but equally as painful wounds.   

I am talking about the emotional effect of realising that you have misread how genuine a person is being when you first meet them.  No matter the way that first meeting takes place I have always thought that there must be some way to work out if you are making first contact with someone who is genuinely trying to make first contact with you as opposed to, someone who is trying to impress by pretending to be someone they aren’t.  The biggest problem is that while you are consciously or sub consciously making your mind up about the sort of person you are meeting, it is inevitable that they are just as busy consciously or sub consciously returning the favour. 

I thought it might be a good idea to see if the internet could come up with a few tips on the subject and it did not disappoint.  At the time of life most readers of this message are likely to be, most of us will know many of the hints given even though we will have been using them without even knowing it but I found being a bit more conscious of what I was looking for did help. 

As usual, so much of the internet is written for the purpose of either being better at job interviews or finding a partner, things that we older people are long past needing to do, but the principles are the same no matter the way or circumstances that bring about a first meeting. And even though much of the information is American, I have found it quite helpful.  I suspect that I am not the only newly retired soul who could do with a bit of help in this department and this is the reason that I have shared what I have learned.  

So many new pensioners need to broaden their spectrum of friends.  For some it is easy while others find it harder, but being better able to assess the kind of person you're meeting for the first time has to help navigate the conversation more thoughtfully and learn more about the potential friendship that might follow. 


FM. Sydenham 
 

 

FM shares what she found…

 

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