Dear LPG,

Everybody makes mistakes, especially when we are young. How many times did your parents tell you not to do something or do it in a different way when you were young? Probably many times.

Now, as a parent or a grandparent it is your responsibility to make sure that your children and grandchildren do what is right, but what is the best way to let them know that they are making a mistake?

First, you need to choose the time carefully. Once you have decided that you need to tell your children or grandchildren something, think about when. Is he or she usually stressed in the morning? So don’t tell them what you need to tell them in the morning and do it when they feel a bit more relaxed so they are likely to be more perceptive.

Second, try to use suggestions instead of statements. An “I am right, you are wrong” conversation is not going to work. Instead, present your criticism as a suggestion. For example, you can start with “I think that it would be a good idea to...” This way the person you are talking to will feel helped and not threatened. If your suggestion is based on your own experience (and you surely have a wide experience in many aspects of life), it will probably work better. It will be important to offer a solution too. Nobody likes to hear that they are wrong, but not to be given a viable solution.

Finally, bear in mind that you have to pick your battles. Sometimes, it is very frustrating to believe that a loved one is probably making a mistake, but not being able to say anything, as that is what they really want to do. Just ask yourself this question: is what he or she is doing likely to seriously harm them or other people? If so, you definitely need to tell them that they are wrong. If that is not the case, just let it go.

You have to respect their life decisions whether you like them or not. At the end of the day, they are free to choose what they want and many times being part of a different generation makes it difficult to fully understand why they are making certain decisions.

There is nothing wrong with it: they simply are younger than us.

EY, Brockley