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...the voice of pensioners

That Friendless Feeling

28 Aug 2018

Dear LPG

 

We oldies are always being advised to get out and about if we possibly can and I do try to take that advice on board.  

 

I live alone but still do my best to get out at least a couple of times a week.  When the summer makes an appearance and the weather is nice and bright I suppose I have no real excuse and  agree with whoever it was that said it is important to get out and about. 

 

I don’t have a very large family and most of my closest friends were the people that I worked with.  When I retired I tried to keep in touch with them but until a couple of years ago I was in a bit of a state I suppose. I was a bit older than most of them and I lost touch with quite a few.  I had retired and they were still caught up in the busy world of work.  Over the years I have found it much harder to make new friends.   I am not talking about the acquaintances that you say hello to when you pass in the street on the way to the shops. 

 

I remember that LPG once wrote an article where they suggested that a true friend is one that you can phone in the early hours of the morning on the odd occasion that you need someone to talk to.  I don’t think I have a friend like that anymore.

 

I made a point of finding a day centre which I attend once a week and there are people there who I class as casual friends; friends that I can say hello to and have a chat with.   I have been with them on occasional organised outings but while I enjoy them to an extent, and even though I have made a few friends at the club, once we arrive at the attraction groups of members usually go their separate ways.  This would leave me either going off on my own to make my own amusement or tagging along with a group of already-established friends who have invited me to join them, and wondering why. I got it into my head that they most probably felt a bit sorry for me because I was a bit of a ‘spare part’ club member?

 

Now I have written this down it all sounds a bit depressing but it is not that bad, although it occurs to me that for some people this whole issue could well be.  So I just wanted to tell anyone who feels a bit friendless to stick with attending a club or day centre, no matter how out of place you feel at first,  because while you are not looking you are likely to gradually become, and feel, more accepted.

 

One other thing; remember to keep an eye out for the next new member who looks as if they are feeling a bit friendless.  

 


DL, Beckenham

 

 

LPG found a little information.

 

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