Dear LPG,

I recently became a hands-on grandma as I have agreed to look after my young granddaughter, and it was something that I read in your pages which swayed my decision to do so.

When I was first asked, I spent a lot of time wondering if I really wanted to take on all those responsibilities again.  I thought about having to push a pram down the road again and what it would be like to chastise a child which was not mine.  I have to say that spending time alone in charge of a youngster these days is quite different from the way that I remember it the first time round, some forty years ago and, the little one and I had to work quite hard to get used to each other, but after three months we have learned each other’s ways and I am so glad that I took on the challenge. 

I have to say that I agree with BJ who touched on the subject in her post-dated 20/08/18 (►►►) and I find that having a child to communicate with all day (even though she is not that good at answering me yet), needing to prepare meals (I have to admit to getting a bit lazy and skipping them sometimes when alone), the need to organise some of my week around someone else, and having a reason to go to the shops and a pram (which doubles as a bit of a walking aid – as long as you are not pushing up-hill) are just a few of the serious benefits of getting involved.

So I just want to say to any grandmothers whose children are asking the question, that apart from all the other positives, there is something very special about knowing that you are needed and, although there are many things that I need my children to do for me these days (deal with paperwork that goes over my head, shift heavy bits of furniture, take me here and there when driving is involved and so many other things), I don’t feel so obligated to them when I  ask for their practical help because they are getting mine.

This has been my experience when I was asked to provide care for my grandchild two days a week.  I have to say that my first thought when asked surrounded my physical ability to do that job well enough but I would suggest that even picking the up from school until Mum or Dad come home from work is equally as rewarding.

 I also hope that, if I am still around, I am forging a closer than usual relationship with my granddaughter which will fizzle out just a little more slowly once she becomes a busy teenager. 

JN, Brockley Cross